hide and seek

Lord,

You have promised that if I seek with all my heart, I shall find you. I am seeking, Lord. I am seeking with everything I have. Yet I feel no different. Have I stopped seeking you and started seeking emotions I wish to feel? I have looked and searched with all my heart. I have not found happiness. I have not found total release from my anxiety. I have only found you, the same you as always. The you who spoke the oceans into existence and yet humbled himself to death on a tree for my wretch's heart. I have found only that you are the same. You are still God. You are still holy. You are still faithful. You are still sovereign. Your promises are still true.

Father, though I have not found happiness, though I have not found complete release from anxiety, you have not changed. Your holiness has not diminished. You have not become less faithful to me. You are still the sovereign God who keeps all his promises. You still love me beyond what I can understand, and you still died to save me. No matter how afraid or unhappy I am, or how I or my life may change, you are forever the same, you are forever worthy of praise. So even now, as I find myself in a season of sorrow and fear, I can do nothing but praise you, for you are always worthy of my praise.